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Bismuth, as Heavy as it Gets before People Start Dying

20 Oct

I would like to propose a unit for measuring heaviness, as currently there is none. Kilograms, and Pounds duh, right? No, I’m talking about heaviness in music. If I want to tell someone how heavy this awesome new foobar metal band I found is how am I to do it? Currently I have to say to them, “Man, this band is really heavy, like so heavy your ears will will be torn from your face due to the weight.” So why not make a unit of heaviness so I can be more clear with how ambiguously heavy this new band is. I think the only unit that could be used is the deth, as in Dethklok. So now I can say, “Man, this band is 42deths” Since heaviness is relative to the listener it isn’t possible to have an accepted level of heaviness for any band or even a scale of heaviness. In that direction I would like to propose a false zero for the measurement of heaviness, 0deths is to be set at the heaviest of Hard Rock and any be set relative to that. So anything that is less heavy/lighter than the heaviest Hard rock will be a negative value and anything heavier will be >0.

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Posted by on October 20, 2007 in joke, music

 

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